When I was living in Melbourne, let`s just say it wasn`t necessarily a five star resort. Or even a one star. But it was the cheapest place in town and it had free internet and that was good enough for me. I ended up living there for three months, and it was pretty much the best time of my entire life.
When you travel a lot you are always finding really special single serving friends as we`ve all learned from our friend Tyler Durden. You have lots of fun for a short time, and then you can go your own way. But Melbourne was different. The place I stayed was love it or hate it, but if you ended up getting involved it was like finding a family.
The story of how I became super best friends with the Receptionist/Manager is a strange one. She thought I was a lesbian because I was wearing a Harvard hoodie with a smock dress and leggings, and also because she tends to think everyone is a lesbian. Really I had just got off a 12 hour bus ride and was wearing the most comfortable thing I owned. We ended up hanging out a bit, and then on my fifth night she was overbooked and told me that I could stay in her room for free. I considered this an acceptable arrangement.
Shortly thereafter I found a job in Melbourne and she invited me to stay in her room at an awesome rate for the rest of my time in Melbourne. We stayed up late singing Rocky Horror songs and the American National Anthem and ate our cheap deep fried take-out from down the road.
I decided I wanted to do something special for her, so I teamed up with a guy who had also stayed there and was a musician and he agreed to help me write a song. So, this original song is dedicated to Courtney for putting up with all the bizarre and disgusting bullshit that she did, and to all my awesome Melbourne peeps. HUGZ!!!
Just One Cigarette
Holy fuck I just slept in
And now it`s half past ten and I`ve
Got to get this hostel clean
And oh my god I`ve lost my keys
Oh wait they`re in my boobs again
Now I can check this tosser in
Just one cigarette then down to work!
Sometimes I hate everyone around
On call seven days a week
Bedroom open to the street
And sometimes there`s just too much to do
I will never get this done
Fuck it let`s go have some fun
Holy fuck the kitchen`s trashed
Dishes piled up to the sky
Why can`t people read the signs
And what is with that crazy woman
Sticking forks in toasters
You just can`t do that if it`s plugged in
Just one cigarette then save some lives
Holy fuck I hate room four
Drunk guy pissing on the floor
This ain`t what they pay me for
Why can`t people use the toilets
Oh great somebody smashed it
Hope nobody needs to take a shit
Just one cigarette then disinfect
Holy fuck we`re overbooked
And now I wish that I was dead
Backpacker sleeping in my bed
What to do if he complains
Just shove him in the top bunk
And then tell him it`s a sweet upgrade
Just one cigarette then spoon that jerk.
When you travel a lot you are always finding really special single serving friends as we`ve all learned from our friend Tyler Durden. You have lots of fun for a short time, and then you can go your own way. But Melbourne was different. The place I stayed was love it or hate it, but if you ended up getting involved it was like finding a family.
The story of how I became super best friends with the Receptionist/Manager is a strange one. She thought I was a lesbian because I was wearing a Harvard hoodie with a smock dress and leggings, and also because she tends to think everyone is a lesbian. Really I had just got off a 12 hour bus ride and was wearing the most comfortable thing I owned. We ended up hanging out a bit, and then on my fifth night she was overbooked and told me that I could stay in her room for free. I considered this an acceptable arrangement.
Shortly thereafter I found a job in Melbourne and she invited me to stay in her room at an awesome rate for the rest of my time in Melbourne. We stayed up late singing Rocky Horror songs and the American National Anthem and ate our cheap deep fried take-out from down the road.
I decided I wanted to do something special for her, so I teamed up with a guy who had also stayed there and was a musician and he agreed to help me write a song. So, this original song is dedicated to Courtney for putting up with all the bizarre and disgusting bullshit that she did, and to all my awesome Melbourne peeps. HUGZ!!!
Just One Cigarette
Holy fuck I just slept in
And now it`s half past ten and I`ve
Got to get this hostel clean
And oh my god I`ve lost my keys
Oh wait they`re in my boobs again
Now I can check this tosser in
Just one cigarette then down to work!
Sometimes I hate everyone around
On call seven days a week
Bedroom open to the street
And sometimes there`s just too much to do
I will never get this done
Fuck it let`s go have some fun
Holy fuck the kitchen`s trashed
Dishes piled up to the sky
Why can`t people read the signs
And what is with that crazy woman
Sticking forks in toasters
You just can`t do that if it`s plugged in
Just one cigarette then save some lives
Holy fuck I hate room four
Drunk guy pissing on the floor
This ain`t what they pay me for
Why can`t people use the toilets
Oh great somebody smashed it
Hope nobody needs to take a shit
Just one cigarette then disinfect
Holy fuck we`re overbooked
And now I wish that I was dead
Backpacker sleeping in my bed
What to do if he complains
Just shove him in the top bunk
And then tell him it`s a sweet upgrade
Just one cigarette then spoon that jerk.
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